I am a Mother

all the credit to Archana, my wife for this very nice message she sent me, im only sharing it with all of you....read on and enjoy.....

I am only a Mother

The officer at the Driving License counter asked the lady "What is your occupation?"

The woman seeking renewal of her license seemed to be puzzled. So the officer said "Ma'am, are you employed, have your own business or................

The woman replied "Oh, yes!! I have a full time occupation. I am a mother"

Officer: "We don't have 'mother' as an option for occupation.

I will write it down as 'Housewife'. That takes care of all questions."

This had happened long ago, and was forgotten. Years later when I went to get my license, the Public Relations Officer was a somewhat pompous.woman.

"Your occupation?" she asked in a rather authoritative tone.

I just had an inspiration and replied "I am a researcher in the field of Child Development, Nutrition and Inter-personal Relationships"

The lady officer stared at me in amazement. I calmly repeated my statement and she wrote it down verbatim. Then, unable to conceal her curiosity, she politely asked "What exactly do you do in your profession, Ma'am?"

I was feeling good about having described my occupation so calmly and confidently. So I replied "My research projects have been going on for a number of years (Mothers never retire!!). My research is conducted in the laboratory as well as in the field. I have two bosses. (One is God and the other is my entire family). I have received two honours in this field. (A son and a daughter) My topic is considered to be the most difficult part of sociology.(All moms will agree!!). I have to work more than 14 hours every day. Sometimes even 24 hours are not enough and the challenges are tougher than many other professions. My compensation is in terms of mental satisfaction rather than money"

I could see that the officer was thoroughly impressed. After completing the licensing formalities, she came to the door to see me off.

This new viewpoint about my occupation made me feel much better on my way back home. I was welcomed by my 5 year old research assistant at the door. My new project (my 6 month old baby) was energetically practicing her 'music'.

I had earned a small victory over the Governmental red tape today. I was no longer 'merely a mother', instead I was now a highly placed functionary in a service vital for mankind -Motherhood!!

'Mother' - Isn't it a great title. Fit to be added to the nameplate on the door!! By this standard, grandmothers deserve to be called Senior Research Officers, and Great Grandmothers qualify as 'Research Directors'. Aunts and other ladies of that age group can be called 'Research Facilitators'

Please share this with all mothers, grandmothers, great grandmothers, all ladies currently holding posts like didi-tai-chachi-mami-mausi-bua ...... They will all shower you with blessings and life will be happier.

I object!!! my lord

Objection my lord! A common phrase if you have ever seen a bollywood film. But I really OBJECT I vehemently object to the gross mishandling of the Indian spirit, by the judiciary and the supporting political and administrative systems in India that make it possible for our over liberal and forgiving judiciary to make a mockery of resilience of the Indian spirit. The bravely which the Indian police, MARCOS and NSG showed has been spit at in the face, by acquitting Shahabuddin & Faheem Ansari the 2 accused in 26/11 case, and even nurturing the thought that Kasab may not be given the life sentence and that even if he is, he has the right to appeal the decision in the supreme court of India, and even after that the president can pardon his crime and the audacity of Pakistan to demand the extradition of Kasab????

Probably the government has misunderstood our resilience as being neuter. Just because the Taj & Oberoi hotels reopened and people still travel by local train and commute via CST everyday day in and day out DOES NOT MEAN NOTHING HAPPENED, or that the PUBLIC DOES NOT REMEMBER. Something did happen, has been happening repeatedly, and the public does remember each of those events in full vivid detail. So do not mistake our silence or you will be risking converting a most tolerant and forgiving nation into a radical extremist force, once we decide to start showing you how to do your job Mr. Tahiliani.

I, the common man demands to know why did the judiciary needed 18 months to restate an obvious fact. That the swine Kasab was indeed responsible to gunning down 72 innocent people, when we had undisputable evidence by means of eye witness accounts and CCTV film footage of the swine spraying bullets on Indian citizens who are my brothers and sisters according to the pledge that I have read for 10 years of my life at school assembly standing right next to Kaizad Kamdin my classmate and 26/11 victim because both of us were the tallest in the class and stood at the end of the row.

I, the common man of India demands the account of the crores of Indian tax payers’ money to keep these undeserving vermin alive! 35 crores was the figure I remember from a TOI report earlier, I do not mind paying tax, as long as it is used properly. Is it not a better use to spend the 35 crores on equipment for the security agencies? I would much rather have them spent on a research project awarded to the IITs to develop a light weight bullet proof body armor to protect the brave men like Kalaskar, Kamte, Karkare, and Unnikrishnan who walked into their deaths knowing fully well that they were underequipped. I want this suit to be indigenously developed so that it does not become another reason for some corrupt politician to earn a kickback. I would like to spend that money on buying Kalashnikov rifles for the constables on duty that day that faced the frenzy of the madman Kasab with single-shot-load-reload 303 rifles. I correct myself Kasab is not a madman. He is completely sane and till date shows no signs of remorse.

In my view death by hanging or electric chair is too simple, for such crimes. An appropriate sentence would be death by starvation. a slow and elongated death in full public view, so that he serves as an example to the rest of his type what is the consequence of messing with a most tolerant and forgiving nation.

Diwakar Sinha

A proud Indian who has had enough!!!

Pride and Shame

MiG-21 crash kills pilot
MiG-21 crashes, kills young pilot

When I read about Flt Lt. Akhouri it’s not primarily sorrow that fills my heart, it is a little bit of sorrow but much more of rage.

A little sorrow because brave people do not like sorrow and I do not wish to offend Flt Lt. Akhouri.

Rage because the government of India does not care. It does not care that thousands of youngsters still queue up every year to admit themselves into the NDA. knowing that they might be required to practice on a flying coffin, it is not what they intended to do when they signed up for serving in the armed forces, they had a pure intention to lay down their lives if required in the call of duty. The duty they had thought that would be defending the country against our enemies, but the enemy lies within. our corrupt politics that gives priority to spending national budget in kickbacks to companies like Enron instead of phasing out the MIG 21s that have claimed so many lives of young talented and inspiring young men and women that they are now called the "flying coffins".

it is rage at the members of opposition who make it their business to enforce that every hoarding and shop in Maharashtra has its name on devnagri script rather than asking the ruling party some real questions, you want vote bank politics "Mr. chief of Ram Sean" chew this bone instead of the pink underwear!

it is rage at 2 penny journalism ethic and TRP motivated story follow up of leading newspapers in India, for whom the unnecessary death of an officer is smaller than the blasphemous MF Husain who made it to TOI's front page for some inconsequential bullshit, where as Flt Lt. Akhouri made a small article on the 3rd or 4th page which I really had to dig out after a careful scan of the newspaper on sep 13th or 15th. I had written to the editor of TOI about this of course I am yet to hear anything back from him.

Flt Lt. Akhouri laid down his life saving innocent villagers, he thought it was his duty and he performed without a doubt in his mind. Though he would have preferred to go down fighting a real enemy instead of a spurious spare part.

And yes like the rest of the youth of India I salute you but I wish I could have shaken your hand

Corporate lessons

 

A hilarious email fwded to me by my friend Girish Khanna :)

CORPORATE LESSON #1:
____________ _________ _________ _
A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her
shower when the doorbell rings. After a few seconds of arguing over
which one should go and answer the doorbell, The wife gives up, quickly
wraps herself up in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the
door, there stands Bob, The next door neighbor.
Before she says a word, Bob says, "I'll give you $800 Just to Drop that
towel that you have on". After thinking for a moment, the woman drops
her towel and stands naked in front of Bob.
Bob has a close look at her for a few seconds, hands over $800 and
quietly leaves.
Confused, but excited about her good fortune, the woman wraps back up in
the towel and goes upstairs. When she gets back to the bathroom, her
husband asks from the shower "Who was that?"
"It was Bob the next door neighbor," she replies.
"Great," the husband says, "did he say anything about the $800 he owes
me?"
____________ _________ _________ _
MORAL OF THE STORY:
Share critical credit information with your Stakeholders to Prevent
Avoidable exposure!
************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ____________
_________ _________ _
CORPORATE LESSON # 2
____________ _________ _________ _
A priest was driving along and saw a nun on the side of the road, he
stopped and offered her a lift which she gladly accepted. She got in and
crossed her legs, forcing her gown to open and reveal a lovely leg.
The priest had a look and nearly had an accident. After controlling the
car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg. The Nun looked at him and
immediately said, "Father, remember psalm 129?"
The priest was flustered and apologized profusely. He forced himself to
remove his hand. However, he was unable to remove his eyes from her leg.
Further on, while changing gear, he let his hand slide up her leg again.
The nun once again said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?"
Once again the priest apologized. "Sorry sister, but the mind is weak."
Arriving at the convent, the nun got out, gave him a meaningful glance
and went on her way. On his arrival at the Church, the Priest rushed to
retrieve a bible and looked up psalm 129.
It Said, "Go forth and seek; further up, you will find Glory."
____________ _________ _________ _
MORAL OF THE STORY:
Always be well informed in your job; or, you might Miss great
Opportunities!
************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ____________
_________ _________ _
CORPORATE LESSON # 3
____________ _________ _________ _
There were these 4 guys, a Russian, a German, an American and a French,
who found this small genie bottle. When they Rubbed the Bottle, a genie
appears.
Thankful that the 4 guys had Released him Out of the bottle, he said,
"Next to you all are 4 Swimming pools,
I will give each of you a wish. When you run towards the pool and Jump,
you shout What you want the pool of water to become, then your wish will
come true."
The French wanted to start. He ran towards the pool, jumped and shouted
WINE". The pool immediately changed into a Pool of wine.
The Frenchman was so happy swimming and drinking from the pool.
Next is the Russian's turn, he did the same and shouted, "VODKA" and
immersed himself into a pool of vodka.
The German was next and he jumped and shouted, "BEER". He was so
contented with his beer pool.
The last is the American. He was running towards the Pool when Suddenly
he steps on a banana peel. He slipped towards The pool And shouted,
"CRAP !!!!!!!..... ...."
____________ _________ _________ _
MORAL OF THE STORY:
Mind your language, you never Know what it will land you in.
************ ********* ********* ********* *********
____________ _________ _________ _
CORPORATE LESSON # 4
____________ _________ _________ _
A young executive was leaving the office at 6 PM when he found the CEO
standing in front of a paper shredder with a piece of paper in his hand.
"Listen," said the CEO, "this is a very sensitive and important document
and my secretary has left. Can you make this thing Work?"
"Certainly, Sir" said the young executive. He turned the machine on,
inserted the paper, and pressed the start button.
"Excellent, excellent!" said the CEO as his paper disappeared inside the
machine."I just need one copy."
____________ _________ _________ _
MORAL OF THE STORY:
Never, ever assume that your BOSS knows everything.

genious

an email fwd from my friend vinsi, which i liked so much that i translated to my own life……i wish….but enjoy…..and thanks vinsi

A beautiful Madam was having trouble with one of her students in 1st Grade class.

Madam asked,'Diwakar (me). what is your problem?'

I answered, 'I'm too smart for the first-grade. My sister is in the third-grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the 4th Grade!'

Madam had enough. She took the Diwakar (me) to the principal's office. While I waited in the outer office, madam explained to the principal what the situation was. The principal told Madam he would give the me a test and if I failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the first-grade and behave.She agreed.

I was brought in and the conditions were explained to me and I agreed to take the test.

Principal: 'What is 3 x 3?'

Diwakar (me).: '9'.

Principal: 'What is 6 x 6?'

Diwakar (me).: '36'.

And so it went with every question the principal thought a 4th grade should know. The principal looks at Madam and tells her, 'I think Diwakar (me) can go to the 4th grade.'

Madam says to the principal, 'I have some of my own questions. Can I ask him ?' The principal and Diwakar (me) both agreed.

Madam asks, 'What does a cow have four of that I have only two of'?

Diwakar (me), after a moment 'Legs.'

Madam: 'What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?'

Diwakar (me).: 'Pockets.'

Madam: What starts with a C and ends with a T, is hairy, oval, delicious and contains thin whitish liquid?

Diwakar (me).: Coconut

Madam: What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft And sticky?

The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer, Diwakar (me) was taking charge.

Diwakar (me).: Bubblegum

Madam: What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down and a dog does on three legs?

The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer..

Diwakar (me).: Shake hands

Madam: You stick your poles inside me. You tie me down to get me up. I get wet before you do.

Diwakar (me).: Tent

Madam: A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you're bored. The best man always has me first.

The Principal was looking restless, a bit tense and took one large Patiala Vodka peg.

Diwakar (me).: Wedding Ring

Madam: I come in many sizes. When I'm not well, I drip. When you blow me, you feel good.

Diwakar (me).: Nose

Madam: I have a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates. I come with a quiver.

Diwakar (me).: Arrow

Madam: What word starts with a 'F' and ends in 'K' that means lot of heat and excitement?

Diwakar (me).: Fire truck

Madam: What word starts with a 'F' and ends in 'K' & if u don't get it, u have to use ur hand.

Diwakar (me).: Fork

Madam: What is it that all men have one of it's longer on some men than on others, the pope doesn't use his and a man gives it to his wife after they're married?

Diwakar (me).: SURNAME.

Madam: What part of the man has no bone but has muscles, has lots of veins, like pumping, & is responsible for making love ?

Diwakar (me).: HEART.

The principal breathed a sigh of relief and said to the teacher, 'Send this Diwakar (me) to IIM AHMEDABAD,

I got the last ten questions wrong myself!'

Title song of my favorite TV series Mad About You

The Final Frontier

Tell me why
I love you like I do,
Tell me who
can stop my heart
as much as you,
Tell me all your secrets, and I'll
tell you most of mine,

They say nobody's perfect,
well, thats really true this time
I dont have the answers,
I dont have a plan
All I have is you,
So darling, help me understand

(What we do) - you can whisper in my ear
(Where we go) - who knows what happens after here
Let's take each other's hand as we jump
in to the Final Frontier
I'm mad about you baby,
Mad About You...

Hillarious

Thanks akskay

awesome laugh

read on guys

---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: akshay singh
Date: Tue, Jun 23, 2009 at 10:57 AM
Subject: Sipping Vodka - This is funny!
To:

SIPPING VODKA This is too funny - I still have tears in my eyes! Finally, a chain letter that I don't mind forwarding. It's funny (don't break chain) A new priest at his first mass was so nervous he could hardly speak. After mass he asked the monsignor how he had done. The monsignor replied, 'When I am worried about getting nervous on the pulpit, I put a glass of vodka next to the water glass. If I start to get nervous, I take a sip.' So next Sunday he took the monsignor's advice. At the beginning of the sermon, he got nervous and took a drink. He proceeded to talk up a storm. Upon his return to his office after the mass, he found the following note on the door: 1) Sip the vodka, don't gulp. 2) There are 10 commandments, not 12. 3) There are 12 disciples, not 10. 4) Jesus was consecrated, not constipated. 5) Jacob wagered his donkey, he did not bet his ass. 6) We do not refer to Jesus Christ as the late J.C. 7) The Father, Son, and Holy Ghost are not referred to as Daddy, Junior and the spook. 8) David slew Goliath; he did not kick the shit out of him. 9) When David was hit by a rock and was knocked off his donkey, don't say he was stoned off his ass. 10) We do not refer to the cross as the 'Big T.' 11) When Jesus broke the bread at the last supper he said, 'Take this and eat it for this is my body.' He did not say 'Eat me'. 12) The Virgin Mary is not called 'Mary with the Cherry'. 13) The recommended grace before a meal is not: Rub-A-Dub-Dub thanks for the grub, Yeah God. 14) Next Sunday there will be a taffy pulling contest at St. Peter's not a peter pulling contest at St. Taffy's. The Origination of this letter is unknown, but it brings good luck to everyone who passes it on. The one who breaks the chain will have bad luck. Do not keep this letter. Do not send money just forward it to twelve of your friends to whom you wish good luck and a great laugh. You will see that something good happens to you four days from now if the chain is not broken.