message: Father: I want you to marry a girl of my choice
Son: "I will choose my own bride!"
Father: "But the girl is Bill Gates's daughter."
Son: "Well, in that case...ok"
Next Father approaches Bill Gates.
Father: "I have a husband for your daughter."
Bill Gates: "But my daughter is too young to marry!"
Father: "But this young man is a vice-president of the World Bank."
Bill Gates: "Ah, in that case...ok"
Finally Father goes to see the president of the World Bank.
Father: "I have a young man to be recommended as a vice-president."
President: "But I already have more vice- presidents than I need!"
Father: "But this young man is Bill Gates's son-in-law."
President: "Ah, in that case...ok"
This is how business is done!!
Friday, June 30, 2006
why newton commits suicide!!!!!!
message: Once, Newton came to India and watched a few Tamil movies that had his head spinning. He was convinced that all his logic and laws in physics were just a huge pile of junk and apologized for everything he had done.
In the movie of Rajanikanth, Newton was confused to such an extent that he went paranoid. Here are a few scenes.................................
1)Rajanikanth has a Brain Tumor which, according to the doctors can't be cured and his death is imminent.In one of the fights, our great Rajanikanth is shot in the head. To everybody's surprise, the bullet passes through his ears taking away the tumor along with it and he is cured! Long Live Rajanikanth!
2) In another movie, Rajanikanth is confronted with 3 gangsters.Rajanikanth has a gun but unfortunately only one bullet and a knife. Guess, what he does? He throws the knife at the middle gangster? & shoots the bullet towards the knife. The knife cuts the bullet into 2 pieces, which kills both the gangsters on each side of the middle gangster & the knife kills the middle one.
3) Rajanikanth is chased! by a gangster. Rajanikanth has a revolver but no bullets in it. Guess, what he does. Nah? not even in your remotest imaginations. He waits for the gangster to shoot. As soon as the gangster shoots, Rajanikanth opens the bullet compartment of his revolver and catches the bullet. Then, he closes the bullet compartment and fires his gun. Bang...
the gangster dies...
This was too much for our Newton to take! He was completely shaken and decided to go back. But he happened to see another movie for one last time, and thought that at least one movie would follow his theory of physics. The whole movie goes fine and Newton is happy that all in the world hasn't changed. Oops, not so fast!
The 'climax' finally arrives. Rajanikanth gets to know that the villain is on the other side of a very high wall. So high that Rajanikanth can't jump even if he tries like one of those superman techniques that our heroes normally use. Rajanikanth has to desperately kill the villain because it's the climax.
(Newton dada is smiling since it is virtually impossible?)
Rajanikanth suddenly pulls two guns from his pockets. He throws one gun in the air and when the g! un has reached above the height of the wall, he uses the second gun and shoots at the trigger of the first gun in air. The first gun fires off and the villain is dead.
Newton commits suicide..
In the movie of Rajanikanth, Newton was confused to such an extent that he went paranoid. Here are a few scenes.................................
1)Rajanikanth has a Brain Tumor which, according to the doctors can't be cured and his death is imminent.In one of the fights, our great Rajanikanth is shot in the head. To everybody's surprise, the bullet passes through his ears taking away the tumor along with it and he is cured! Long Live Rajanikanth!
2) In another movie, Rajanikanth is confronted with 3 gangsters.Rajanikanth has a gun but unfortunately only one bullet and a knife. Guess, what he does? He throws the knife at the middle gangster? & shoots the bullet towards the knife. The knife cuts the bullet into 2 pieces, which kills both the gangsters on each side of the middle gangster & the knife kills the middle one.
3) Rajanikanth is chased! by a gangster. Rajanikanth has a revolver but no bullets in it. Guess, what he does. Nah? not even in your remotest imaginations. He waits for the gangster to shoot. As soon as the gangster shoots, Rajanikanth opens the bullet compartment of his revolver and catches the bullet. Then, he closes the bullet compartment and fires his gun. Bang...
the gangster dies...
This was too much for our Newton to take! He was completely shaken and decided to go back. But he happened to see another movie for one last time, and thought that at least one movie would follow his theory of physics. The whole movie goes fine and Newton is happy that all in the world hasn't changed. Oops, not so fast!
The 'climax' finally arrives. Rajanikanth gets to know that the villain is on the other side of a very high wall. So high that Rajanikanth can't jump even if he tries like one of those superman techniques that our heroes normally use. Rajanikanth has to desperately kill the villain because it's the climax.
(Newton dada is smiling since it is virtually impossible?)
Rajanikanth suddenly pulls two guns from his pockets. He throws one gun in the air and when the g! un has reached above the height of the wall, he uses the second gun and shoots at the trigger of the first gun in air. The first gun fires off and the villain is dead.
Newton commits suicide..
Saturday, June 24, 2006
Tuesday, June 20, 2006
Incredible english courtesy Prof. Jeppiar
Now, here are some classic English sentences from the great Lecturer Mr.Jeppiar , who owns the no1 engineering college in TN.
The stalwart talks to his students:
# At the ground:
All of you stand in a straight circle.
There is no wind in the balloon..
The girl with the mirror please comes her...{Means: girl with specs please
come here).
# To a boy, angrily:
I talk, he talk, why you middle middle talk?
# While punishing students:
You, rotate the ground four times...
You, go and understand the tree...
You three of you stand together separately.
Why are you late - say YES or NO .....(?)
# Sir at his best:
Sir had once gone to a film with his wife. By chance, he happened to see
onee of our boys at the theatre, though the boy did no t see them.
So the next day at s school... (to that boy) - "Yesterday I saw you
WITH MY WIFE at the Cinema Theatre"
# Sir at his best inside the Class room:
Open the doors of the window. Let the atmosphere come in.
Open the doors of the window. Let the Air Force come in.
Cut an apple into two halves - I will take the bigger half.
Shhh...Quiet, boys...the principal JUST PASSED AWAY in the corridor
Shhh.. Principal is rotating in the corridor....
You, meet me behin! d the class. (Meaning AFTER the class..)
This one is coo! l >> "Both of u three get out of the class."
Close the doors of the windows please. I have winter in my nose today...
Tak! e Copper Wire of any metal especially of Silver.....
Take 5 cm wire of any length....
Last but not the least some Jeppiar experiences ...
Once Sir had come late to a college function, by the time he reached, the
function had begun, so he went to the dais, and said, sorry I am late,
because on the way my car hit 2 muttons (Meaning goats).
At Sathyabama college day 2002:
"This college strict u the worry no .... U get good marks, I the happy,
tomorrow u get good job, jpr the happy, tomorrow u marry I the enjoy"
At St. Josephs fresh years d! ay 2003:
"No ragging this college. Anybody rag we arrest the police"
The stalwart talks to his students:
# At the ground:
All of you stand in a straight circle.
There is no wind in the balloon..
The girl with the mirror please comes her...{Means: girl with specs please
come here).
# To a boy, angrily:
I talk, he talk, why you middle middle talk?
# While punishing students:
You, rotate the ground four times...
You, go and understand the tree...
You three of you stand together separately.
Why are you late - say YES or NO .....(?)
# Sir at his best:
Sir had once gone to a film with his wife. By chance, he happened to see
onee of our boys at the theatre, though the boy did no t see them.
So the next day at s school... (to that boy) - "Yesterday I saw you
WITH MY WIFE at the Cinema Theatre"
# Sir at his best inside the Class room:
Open the doors of the window. Let the atmosphere come in.
Open the doors of the window. Let the Air Force come in.
Cut an apple into two halves - I will take the bigger half.
Shhh...Quiet, boys...the principal JUST PASSED AWAY in the corridor
Shhh.. Principal is rotating in the corridor....
You, meet me behin! d the class. (Meaning AFTER the class..)
This one is coo! l >> "Both of u three get out of the class."
Close the doors of the windows please. I have winter in my nose today...
Tak! e Copper Wire of any metal especially of Silver.....
Take 5 cm wire of any length....
Last but not the least some Jeppiar experiences ...
Once Sir had come late to a college function, by the time he reached, the
function had begun, so he went to the dais, and said, sorry I am late,
because on the way my car hit 2 muttons (Meaning goats).
At Sathyabama college day 2002:
"This college strict u the worry no .... U get good marks, I the happy,
tomorrow u get good job, jpr the happy, tomorrow u marry I the enjoy"
At St. Josephs fresh years d! ay 2003:
"No ragging this college. Anybody rag we arrest the police"
Friday, June 16, 2006
ONE LINERS...
1. Join the army, see the world, meet interesting people, and kill them.
2. Until I was 13, I thought my name was 'Shut Up.'
3. I'm not afraid to die. I just don't want to be there when ithappens.
4. Always and never are two words you should always remember never touse.
5. I've never been drunk, but often I've been over served.
6. The road to success is always under construction.
7. I say no to drugs -- they just don't listen!
8. Marriage is one of the chief causes of divorce.
9. Work is fine if it doesn't take up too much of your time.
10. When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
11. Born free; Taxed to death.
12. Everyone has a photographic memory; some people just don't have film.
13. Life is unsure; always eat your dessert first.
14. Smile -- it makes people wonder what you're up to.
15. I love being a writer... what I can't stand is the paperwork.
16. A printer consists of 3 main parts: the case, the jammed paper tray and the blinking red light.
17. The hardest part of skating is the ice.
18. The guy who invented the first wheel was an idiot; the guy who invented the other three, he was the genius.
19. The trouble with being punctual is that there's no one there to appreciate it.
20. If our constitution allows us free speech, why are there phone bills?
21. If you tell a man there are 300 billion stars in the universe, he'll believe you. But if you tell him a park bench has just been painted, he has to touch it to be sure.
22. Beat the 5 O'clock rush: leave work at noon!
23. It's not the fall that kills you; it's the sudden stop at the end.
24. I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
25. Someday is not a day of the week
2. Until I was 13, I thought my name was 'Shut Up.'
3. I'm not afraid to die. I just don't want to be there when ithappens.
4. Always and never are two words you should always remember never touse.
5. I've never been drunk, but often I've been over served.
6. The road to success is always under construction.
7. I say no to drugs -- they just don't listen!
8. Marriage is one of the chief causes of divorce.
9. Work is fine if it doesn't take up too much of your time.
10. When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
11. Born free; Taxed to death.
12. Everyone has a photographic memory; some people just don't have film.
13. Life is unsure; always eat your dessert first.
14. Smile -- it makes people wonder what you're up to.
15. I love being a writer... what I can't stand is the paperwork.
16. A printer consists of 3 main parts: the case, the jammed paper tray and the blinking red light.
17. The hardest part of skating is the ice.
18. The guy who invented the first wheel was an idiot; the guy who invented the other three, he was the genius.
19. The trouble with being punctual is that there's no one there to appreciate it.
20. If our constitution allows us free speech, why are there phone bills?
21. If you tell a man there are 300 billion stars in the universe, he'll believe you. But if you tell him a park bench has just been painted, he has to touch it to be sure.
22. Beat the 5 O'clock rush: leave work at noon!
23. It's not the fall that kills you; it's the sudden stop at the end.
24. I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
25. Someday is not a day of the week
Sunday, June 11, 2006
TIME BANK
Imagine there is a bank that credits your account each morning with $86,400.
It carries over no balance from day to day.
Every evening the bank deletes whatever part of the balance you failed to use
during the day.
What would you do? Draw out every cent, of course!!!
Each of us has such a bank. Its name is TIME.
Every morning, it credits you with 86,400 seconds.
Every night it writes off, as lost, whatever of this you have failed to
invest to good purpose.
It carries over no balance. It allows no overdraft.
Each day it opens a new account for you.
Each night it burns the remains of the day.
If you fail to use the day's deposits, the loss is yours.
There is no going back. There is no drawing against the "tomorrow".
You must live in the present on today's deposits.
Invest it so as to get from it the utmost in health, happiness, and success!
The clock is running. Make the most of today
It carries over no balance from day to day.
Every evening the bank deletes whatever part of the balance you failed to use
during the day.
What would you do? Draw out every cent, of course!!!
Each of us has such a bank. Its name is TIME.
Every morning, it credits you with 86,400 seconds.
Every night it writes off, as lost, whatever of this you have failed to
invest to good purpose.
It carries over no balance. It allows no overdraft.
Each day it opens a new account for you.
Each night it burns the remains of the day.
If you fail to use the day's deposits, the loss is yours.
There is no going back. There is no drawing against the "tomorrow".
You must live in the present on today's deposits.
Invest it so as to get from it the utmost in health, happiness, and success!
The clock is running. Make the most of today
Doctors vs Engineers
7 Engineers and 7 Doctors are going from PUNE to Mumbai.
So they both gather at Pune Station.
Both groups are desperately trying to prove their superiority.
SCENE 1 (PUNE- MUMBAI) :
---------------------------------------
7 engineers take only 1 Ticket and 7 doctors buy all 7 tickets..
Doctors are desperately waiting for TC to come......
When TC arrives,
All 7 Engineers get in one toilet So when TC knocks , one hand come
out with the ticket and the TC goes away....
----------------------------------------
NOW on return Journey All of them don't get a direct train to PUNE.
So they all decide to take a Passenger till Lonavala, from there they
can
easily get a LOCAL to PUNE
SCENE 2 (MUMBAI - LONAVALA) :
---------------------------------------------
Doctors decided, "this time we will prove that we too are
equal"....All 7 Doctors take 1 Ticket. Engineers don't buy any ticket at
all!!!!!..
TC arrives....
ALL DOCTORS IN ONE TOILET.ALL ENGINEERS IN THE OPPOSITE ONE..
One engineer gets out and knocks the door of Doctors toilet, One
Hand comes with the tickets, he takes the ticket and comes in engg.
Bathroom...
TC DRIVES out ALL the doctors from the toilet and they are heavily
fined
---------------------------------------------
SCENE 3 ( LONAVALA) :
-----------------------------------------
SO now both the group r on LONAVALA station. Doctors planning their
move for last chance, they board the local to Pune.
This time doctors decide that they will play the same(1 ticket) trick.
ALL Doctors take 1 tickets...Engineers BUY all 7 tickets this
time...
SO TC Comes.. All Engineers showed their tickets.....
Doctors are still searching for toilet in the LOCAL train...........
----------------------------------------------------------------
Conclusion: Technically intelligent people are genius, So don't mess
with Engineers.
So they both gather at Pune Station.
Both groups are desperately trying to prove their superiority.
SCENE 1 (PUNE- MUMBAI) :
---------------------------------------
7 engineers take only 1 Ticket and 7 doctors buy all 7 tickets..
Doctors are desperately waiting for TC to come......
When TC arrives,
All 7 Engineers get in one toilet So when TC knocks , one hand come
out with the ticket and the TC goes away....
----------------------------------------
NOW on return Journey All of them don't get a direct train to PUNE.
So they all decide to take a Passenger till Lonavala, from there they
can
easily get a LOCAL to PUNE
SCENE 2 (MUMBAI - LONAVALA) :
---------------------------------------------
Doctors decided, "this time we will prove that we too are
equal"....All 7 Doctors take 1 Ticket. Engineers don't buy any ticket at
all!!!!!..
TC arrives....
ALL DOCTORS IN ONE TOILET.ALL ENGINEERS IN THE OPPOSITE ONE..
One engineer gets out and knocks the door of Doctors toilet, One
Hand comes with the tickets, he takes the ticket and comes in engg.
Bathroom...
TC DRIVES out ALL the doctors from the toilet and they are heavily
fined
---------------------------------------------
SCENE 3 ( LONAVALA) :
-----------------------------------------
SO now both the group r on LONAVALA station. Doctors planning their
move for last chance, they board the local to Pune.
This time doctors decide that they will play the same(1 ticket) trick.
ALL Doctors take 1 tickets...Engineers BUY all 7 tickets this
time...
SO TC Comes.. All Engineers showed their tickets.....
Doctors are still searching for toilet in the LOCAL train...........
----------------------------------------------------------------
Conclusion: Technically intelligent people are genius, So don't mess
with Engineers.
Tuesday, June 06, 2006
Man im on fire
This poem has not yet been named and shall be christened by my friend who inspired me to reconnect with my creative side
If I can keep my head when all about I are losing theirs and blaming it on me;
If I can trust myself when all men doubt me, but make allowance for their doubting too;
If I can wait and not be tired by waiting, or, being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise;
If I can dream - and not make dreams my master, if I can think - and not make thoughts my aim;
If I can meet with triumph and disaster and treat those two imposters just the same;
If I can bear to hear the truth I've spoken twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things I gave to life broken, and build them up with worn-out tools;
If I can make one heap of all my winnings and risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at my beginnings and never breathe a word about my loss;
If I can force my heart and nerve and sinew to serve my turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in me except the will which says to me: "Hold on";
If I can talk with crowds and keep my virtue, or walk with kings - nor lose the common touch;
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt me, if all men count with me, but none too much;
If I can fill the unforgiving minute with sixty seconds' worth of distance run;
Mine is the Earth and everything that's in it;
It is then that I'll be a true man, a man my Mother would be proud to call her SON!!
If I can keep my head when all about I are losing theirs and blaming it on me;
If I can trust myself when all men doubt me, but make allowance for their doubting too;
If I can wait and not be tired by waiting, or, being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise;
If I can dream - and not make dreams my master, if I can think - and not make thoughts my aim;
If I can meet with triumph and disaster and treat those two imposters just the same;
If I can bear to hear the truth I've spoken twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things I gave to life broken, and build them up with worn-out tools;
If I can make one heap of all my winnings and risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at my beginnings and never breathe a word about my loss;
If I can force my heart and nerve and sinew to serve my turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in me except the will which says to me: "Hold on";
If I can talk with crowds and keep my virtue, or walk with kings - nor lose the common touch;
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt me, if all men count with me, but none too much;
If I can fill the unforgiving minute with sixty seconds' worth of distance run;
Mine is the Earth and everything that's in it;
It is then that I'll be a true man, a man my Mother would be proud to call her SON!!
Dilbert's: "Rules Of Order"
1. I can only please one person per day. ... Today is not your day...
Tomorrow is not looking good either.
2. I love deadlines. I especially like the whooshing sound they make
as they go flying by.
3. Tell me what you need, and I'll tell you how to get along without it.
4. Accept that some days you are the pigeon and some days the statue.
5. Needing someone is like needing a parachute. If he isn't there the
first time, chances are you won't be needing him again.
6. I DON'T HAVE AN ATTITUDE PROBLEM . . . YOU HAVE A PERCEPTION PROBLEM.
7. Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky, and I
thought to myself, "where the heck is the ceiling?"
8. My reality check bounced.
9. On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the escape key.
10. I don't suffer from stress. I am a carrier.
11. Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, because you are crunchy
and taste good with ketchup.
12. Everybody is somebody else's weirdo.
13. Never argue with idiots. They drag you down to their level, then
beat you with their experience.
14. A pat on the back is only a few inches from a kick in the butt
15. Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.
16. The more crap you put up with, the more crap you are going to get.
17. You can go anywhere you want if you look serious and carry a clipboard.
18. Eat one live toad the first thing in the morning and nothing worse
will happen to you the rest of the day.
19. If it wasn't for the last minute, nothing would get done.
20. When you don't know what to do, walk fast and look worried.
21. When confronted by a difficult problem, you can solve it more
easily by reducing it to the question, "How would the Lone Ranger
handle this?"
22. If at first you don't succeed . . . skydiving isn't for you.
23. Life is a waste of time; time is a waste of life, so get wasted
all of the time and have the time of your life.
24. When everything is coming your way . . . you're in the wrong lane!
25. Even if you are on the right track, you'll get run over if you
just sit there.
26. An optimist thinks that this is the best possible world. A
pessimist fears that this is true.
27. There will always be death and taxes; however, death doesn't get
worse every year.
28. I am having an out of money experience.
29. Age doesn't always bring wisdom. Sometimes age comes alone.
30. I plan on living forever... So far, so good.
--
Tomorrow is not looking good either.
2. I love deadlines. I especially like the whooshing sound they make
as they go flying by.
3. Tell me what you need, and I'll tell you how to get along without it.
4. Accept that some days you are the pigeon and some days the statue.
5. Needing someone is like needing a parachute. If he isn't there the
first time, chances are you won't be needing him again.
6. I DON'T HAVE AN ATTITUDE PROBLEM . . . YOU HAVE A PERCEPTION PROBLEM.
7. Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky, and I
thought to myself, "where the heck is the ceiling?"
8. My reality check bounced.
9. On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the escape key.
10. I don't suffer from stress. I am a carrier.
11. Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, because you are crunchy
and taste good with ketchup.
12. Everybody is somebody else's weirdo.
13. Never argue with idiots. They drag you down to their level, then
beat you with their experience.
14. A pat on the back is only a few inches from a kick in the butt
15. Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.
16. The more crap you put up with, the more crap you are going to get.
17. You can go anywhere you want if you look serious and carry a clipboard.
18. Eat one live toad the first thing in the morning and nothing worse
will happen to you the rest of the day.
19. If it wasn't for the last minute, nothing would get done.
20. When you don't know what to do, walk fast and look worried.
21. When confronted by a difficult problem, you can solve it more
easily by reducing it to the question, "How would the Lone Ranger
handle this?"
22. If at first you don't succeed . . . skydiving isn't for you.
23. Life is a waste of time; time is a waste of life, so get wasted
all of the time and have the time of your life.
24. When everything is coming your way . . . you're in the wrong lane!
25. Even if you are on the right track, you'll get run over if you
just sit there.
26. An optimist thinks that this is the best possible world. A
pessimist fears that this is true.
27. There will always be death and taxes; however, death doesn't get
worse every year.
28. I am having an out of money experience.
29. Age doesn't always bring wisdom. Sometimes age comes alone.
30. I plan on living forever... So far, so good.
--
Kuttappan the Great
NEVER EVER UNDER ESTIMATE A MALAYALI ....
------------------------
Name the wonly part of the werld where Malayalis don't work hard?
-Kerala ..
Why is industrial productivity so low in Kerala?
-Because 86% of the shift time is spent on lifting, folding and
re-tying the lungi.
Why did the Malayali buy an air-ticket?
-To go to Thoobai, to meet his ungle in the Gelff.
Why do Malayali's go to the Gelff?
-To yearn menney.
What did the Malayali do when the plane caught fire?
-He zimbly jembd out of the vindow.
What is a Malayali management graduate called?
-Yem Bee Yay.
What does a Malayali do when he goes to America?
-He changes his name from "Karunakaran" to Kevin Curren.
What does a Malayali use to commute to office everyday?
-An Oto.
Who is Malayali's fyamous yeactor end yaectress?
-Moghan lal, Mammooti, Geedha, Revadhi, Zilgsmidha end Ambiga.
Why Arab countreis are looking for only Keralites?
-They are ready to do yennything for menney.
SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT:
Please don't delete this after reading, You should atleast send this
mail to:
10 Malayalis & you will receive cokknut oil,
20 Malayalis and you will receive bennena chips,
40 Malayalis you will receive appams,
100 Malayalis and you will get free land near the rice field behind
the lungi factory with additional incentive of a whole month's
supply of cokknut oil and bennena chips free
------------------------
Name the wonly part of the werld where Malayalis don't work hard?
-Kerala ..
Why is industrial productivity so low in Kerala?
-Because 86% of the shift time is spent on lifting, folding and
re-tying the lungi.
Why did the Malayali buy an air-ticket?
-To go to Thoobai, to meet his ungle in the Gelff.
Why do Malayali's go to the Gelff?
-To yearn menney.
What did the Malayali do when the plane caught fire?
-He zimbly jembd out of the vindow.
What is a Malayali management graduate called?
-Yem Bee Yay.
What does a Malayali do when he goes to America?
-He changes his name from "Karunakaran" to Kevin Curren.
What does a Malayali use to commute to office everyday?
-An Oto.
Who is Malayali's fyamous yeactor end yaectress?
-Moghan lal, Mammooti, Geedha, Revadhi, Zilgsmidha end Ambiga.
Why Arab countreis are looking for only Keralites?
-They are ready to do yennything for menney.
SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT:
Please don't delete this after reading, You should atleast send this
mail to:
10 Malayalis & you will receive cokknut oil,
20 Malayalis and you will receive bennena chips,
40 Malayalis you will receive appams,
100 Malayalis and you will get free land near the rice field behind
the lungi factory with additional incentive of a whole month's
supply of cokknut oil and bennena chips free
Friday, June 02, 2006
"some definitions useful to understand the student life of an engineer
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
1. Some Basic definitions..
Engineering College : Place where you're punished for getting good HSC marks.
Senior : Guy who got ragged as junior and wanna get some payback...
Fresher : Guy who has to ask where the canteen is...
Really Dumb Fresher : Guy who asks a senior where the canteen is.
Really Really Dumb fresher : Guy who follows the senior to the canteen.
Ragging : The unfortunate fate of the previous idiot.
Evasive action : Watch the juniors when any seniors come nearby. (No one runs faster than a fresher. NO ONE.)
Lectures : Waste of time. Physical presence is a must...only meant for sleeping, completing assignments & general TP
Tuitions : What you take when you don't waste enough time....
Professor : Person paid to put students to sleep.
Vernacular Prof : Unusual variant of previous individual who comes packaged with his own brand of English ('Now you check me our journal.' 'You Out get from class.' 'Are you Understand, Beta?' )
Practicals : 60 to 90 minutes in which we watch the girls do our experiment, and usually destroy a considerable array of lab equipment.
Hopeless Practical : The practical in which there are no girls in our group simply look blankly at each other, fiddle with the equipment, and finally copy the readings.(from the girls of course...).
2. The Truth about exams....
Irony : The guy who copied your entire paper passes and you flunk.
Critical Calculation : Summing up the marks you attempted worth in the exam...
Re-verification: A cruel joke. (results of which come after you give the KT exam).
3. An engineer's 10 engineering commandments of Life
1. Thou shalt study only during the preparatory leave.
2. Thou shalt never write thy assignments thyself.
3. Thou shalt begin writing thy journals only on the morning of submission.
4. Thou shalt treat all marks above 40 as bonus.
5. Thou shalt have at least 70 per cent attendance in the canteen.
6. Thou shalt pass GRACEfully.
7. Thou shalt always be an OUTstanding student.
8. Thou shalt give thy attendance without being present...PROXY is a MUST
9. If thou can't convince them , confuse them.
10. Thou shalt start every sentence with a four-lettered word.
4. The Years of Engineering
F.E. Fond of Engineering
S.E. Sick Of Engineering
T.E. Tired of Engineering
B.E. Balls to Engineering
Engineers Anthem:
Hum Honge All Clear, Honge All Clear, Honge All Clear Ek Din, OH-HO, Mann me hai vishwas, pura hai vishwas, hum honge all clear ek din
Top two Engineering Rumors:
'Did you hear the results are being put up today at 5:30pm'
'Did you hear the exams are postponed by two weeks, its been put up at VJTI'
The most dreaded acronym for Engineers:
ATKT ( After Trying Keep Trying)
The most important criteria while selecting an engineering college:
Girl to Boy ratio ( if more than0 .025% then that college is engineers dream come true)
Engineers at work:
Assignments solved by one and then carrying out mass transfer operations throughout the class
The most important machine for Engineers:
Xerox Machine (Without which assignment completion wouldn't be possible)
The most important table in an Engineer's House:
The glass table ( to carry out GT operations, during Night Duty.)
Common Engineering Dialogues after a paper:
'What is this yaar, more than 70% of the paper was out of the syllabus'
'This was the worst paper set in the entire engineering history'
'I am failing....I got screwed royally'
1. Some Basic definitions..
Engineering College : Place where you're punished for getting good HSC marks.
Senior : Guy who got ragged as junior and wanna get some payback...
Fresher : Guy who has to ask where the canteen is...
Really Dumb Fresher : Guy who asks a senior where the canteen is.
Really Really Dumb fresher : Guy who follows the senior to the canteen.
Ragging : The unfortunate fate of the previous idiot.
Evasive action : Watch the juniors when any seniors come nearby. (No one runs faster than a fresher. NO ONE.)
Lectures : Waste of time. Physical presence is a must...only meant for sleeping, completing assignments & general TP
Tuitions : What you take when you don't waste enough time....
Professor : Person paid to put students to sleep.
Vernacular Prof : Unusual variant of previous individual who comes packaged with his own brand of English ('Now you check me our journal.' 'You Out get from class.' 'Are you Understand, Beta?' )
Practicals : 60 to 90 minutes in which we watch the girls do our experiment, and usually destroy a considerable array of lab equipment.
Hopeless Practical : The practical in which there are no girls in our group simply look blankly at each other, fiddle with the equipment, and finally copy the readings.(from the girls of course...).
2. The Truth about exams....
Irony : The guy who copied your entire paper passes and you flunk.
Critical Calculation : Summing up the marks you attempted worth in the exam...
Re-verification: A cruel joke. (results of which come after you give the KT exam).
3. An engineer's 10 engineering commandments of Life
1. Thou shalt study only during the preparatory leave.
2. Thou shalt never write thy assignments thyself.
3. Thou shalt begin writing thy journals only on the morning of submission.
4. Thou shalt treat all marks above 40 as bonus.
5. Thou shalt have at least 70 per cent attendance in the canteen.
6. Thou shalt pass GRACEfully.
7. Thou shalt always be an OUTstanding student.
8. Thou shalt give thy attendance without being present...PROXY is a MUST
9. If thou can't convince them , confuse them.
10. Thou shalt start every sentence with a four-lettered word.
4. The Years of Engineering
F.E. Fond of Engineering
S.E. Sick Of Engineering
T.E. Tired of Engineering
B.E. Balls to Engineering
Engineers Anthem:
Hum Honge All Clear, Honge All Clear, Honge All Clear Ek Din, OH-HO, Mann me hai vishwas, pura hai vishwas, hum honge all clear ek din
Top two Engineering Rumors:
'Did you hear the results are being put up today at 5:30pm'
'Did you hear the exams are postponed by two weeks, its been put up at VJTI'
The most dreaded acronym for Engineers:
ATKT ( After Trying Keep Trying)
The most important criteria while selecting an engineering college:
Girl to Boy ratio ( if more than0 .025% then that college is engineers dream come true)
Engineers at work:
Assignments solved by one and then carrying out mass transfer operations throughout the class
The most important machine for Engineers:
Xerox Machine (Without which assignment completion wouldn't be possible)
The most important table in an Engineer's House:
The glass table ( to carry out GT operations, during Night Duty.)
Common Engineering Dialogues after a paper:
'What is this yaar, more than 70% of the paper was out of the syllabus'
'This was the worst paper set in the entire engineering history'
'I am failing....I got screwed royally'
A poem I wrote long long ago
I dont write too much, but yes in the moments of when i am in a pensive mood, emotions do pour over.
recently i got inspired by a friend and decided to include this one in my blog.
I request all readers to try and suggest a suitable name for this poem and also try to guess who the subject was for this poem! Think!! and lets see who thinks like me!
Future may fulfill her distant vows,
The past may have hazy grown,
It is this moment that is here and now,
This moment I call my own.
I gladly join the merry in their joys,
Weep sadly with the ones that mourn,
For another's cause I lend my voice,
The silence I call my own.
Wilderness is a forest child,
Her sires merely the windblown,
Yet her beauty carries a call to the wild,
This call I call my own.
Rivers may run dry for the want of rain,
But these pearls that my eyes have sown,
Reap rich harvest to the harness of pain,
These tears I call my own.
recently i got inspired by a friend and decided to include this one in my blog.
I request all readers to try and suggest a suitable name for this poem and also try to guess who the subject was for this poem! Think!! and lets see who thinks like me!
Future may fulfill her distant vows,
The past may have hazy grown,
It is this moment that is here and now,
This moment I call my own.
I gladly join the merry in their joys,
Weep sadly with the ones that mourn,
For another's cause I lend my voice,
The silence I call my own.
Wilderness is a forest child,
Her sires merely the windblown,
Yet her beauty carries a call to the wild,
This call I call my own.
Rivers may run dry for the want of rain,
But these pearls that my eyes have sown,
Reap rich harvest to the harness of pain,
These tears I call my own.
Thursday, June 01, 2006
Just one year back
Just one year back, we were breaking our heads to finish our projects by hook or crook.
Just one year back we were feeling bad about leaving college.
Just one year back we were regretting the dismal state of our love lives.
Just one year back most of us didn't know where we were headed.
Just one year back we hardly had any major responsibilities.
Just one year back we were justifying our selection of electives.
Just one year back, we almost lost the ability to read engineering text books. Thankfully for the exams, we got it back.
Just one year back we wanted to go through the college routine one-last-perfect-time.
Just one year back we wanted to curse the appropriate people one last time.
Just one year back I didn't even know I would be doing this
Just one year back we were feeling bad about leaving college.
Just one year back we were regretting the dismal state of our love lives.
Just one year back most of us didn't know where we were headed.
Just one year back we hardly had any major responsibilities.
Just one year back we were justifying our selection of electives.
Just one year back, we almost lost the ability to read engineering text books. Thankfully for the exams, we got it back.
Just one year back we wanted to go through the college routine one-last-perfect-time.
Just one year back we wanted to curse the appropriate people one last time.
Just one year back I didn't even know I would be doing this
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About Me
- Chase your passion not your pension
- I feel very strongly against terrorism and violation of human rights, acts of violence/exploitation against women and children should have the capital punishment,in my view, anywhere in the world. My approach is probably too direct, and mostly i am brutally straightforward and bluntly to the point in matters of expressing my feelings, people who can handle that find an invaluable friend in me. So what! im still a diehard hopeless romantic with faith & patience LOL My next 5year plan is to go backpacking around the world staring with europe, collecting friends and spreading smiles as i go.