detective sardar

> > A policeman was testing 3 Singh brothers who were
> > training to become
> > detectives.
> > To test their skills in recognizing a suspect, he
> > shows the first
> > Singh a picture for 5 seconds and then hides it. "This
> > is your suspect, how
> > would you recognize him?"
> > The first Singh answers, "That's easy, we'll catch
> > him fast because he
> > only has one eye!" The policeman
> > Says, "Well...uh...that's because the picture I
> > showed is his side
> > profile."
> >
> > Slightly flustered by this ridiculous response, he
> > flashes the picture
> > for 5 seconds at the second Singh and asks him, "This
> > is your suspect,
> > and how would you recognize him?"
> >
> > The second Singh smiles and says, "Ha! He'd be too
> > easy to catch
> > because he only has one ear!" The policeman angrily
> > responds,
> > "What's the matter with you two? Of course only one
> > eye and one ear
> > are showing because it's a picture of his side
> > profile! Is that the best
> > answer you can come up with?"
> >
> > Extremely frustrated at this point, he shows the
> > picture to the third
> > Singh and in a very testy voice asks, "This is your
> > suspect, how would
> > you recognize him?
> >
> > He quickly adds, "Think hard before giving me a
> > stupid answer." The
> > Singh looks at the picture intently for a moment and
> > says, "The suspect
> > wears contact lenses." The policeman is surprised and
> > speechless because
> > he really doesn't know himself if the suspect wears
> > contacts or not.
> > "Well, that's an interesting answer. Wait here for a
> > few minutes while I
> > check his file and I'll get back to you on that." He
> > leaves the room
> > and goes to his office, checks the suspect's file in
> > his computer, and
> > comes back with a beaming smile on his face.
> >
> > "Wow! I can't believe it. It's TRUE! The suspect does
> > in fact wear
> > contact lenses. Good work! How were you able to make
> > such an astute
> > observation?"
> >
> > "That's easy," the Singh replied. "He can't wear
> > regular glasses
> > because he only has one eye and one ear."

Corporate Lessons

Corporate Lesson 1

A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next door neighbor. Before she says a word, Bob says, "I'll give you $800 to drop that towel." After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob. After a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 dollars and leaves. The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs. When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, "Who was that?" "It was Bob the next door neighbor," she replies. "Great!" the husband says, "Did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?"

Moral of the story:
If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.

Corporate Lesson 2

A priest offered a lift to a Nun. She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg. The priest nearly had an accident. After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg. The nun said,"Father, remember Psalm 129?" The priest removed his hand. But,changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again. The nun
once again said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?" The priest apologized "Sorry sister but the flesh is weak." Arriving at the convent, the nun went on her way. On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It said, "Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory."

Moral of the story: If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great opportunity.

Corporate Lesson 3

A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out. The Genie says, "I'll give each of you just one wish" "Me first! Me first!" says the admin. clerk. "I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in the world." Poof! She's gone. "Me next! Me next!" says the sales rep. "I want to be in Hawaii,relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life." Poof! He's gone. "OK, you're up," the Genie says to the manager. The manager says, "I want those two back in the office after lunch."

Moral of the story: Always let your boss have the first say.

Loved this one!!!

Corporate Lesson 4

A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day. A rabbit asked him,"Can I also sit like you and do nothing all day long?" The crow answered: "Sure, why not." So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow, and rested.
A fox jumped on the rabbit and ate it.
Moral of the story: To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very high up.

Corporate Lesson 5
A turkey was chatting with a bull "I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree," sighed the turkey, but I haven't got the energy." "Well, why don't you nibble on my droppings?" replied the bull. "They're packed with nutrients." The turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found that it gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree. The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch. Finally after a fourth night, there he was proudly perched at the top of the tree. Soon he was spotted by a farmer, who shot the turkey out of the tree.

Moral of the story: Bullshit might get you to the top, but it wont keep you there

Best answer by B.E students during viva..............

This is best answer by B.E students during viva. >---------------------> This one is for those who had nightmares during their Engineering Viva's (EEEs and ECEs). They bring back fond memories for those who care to smile at the past…

Interviewer: Why is a thicker conductor necessary to carry a current in A.C.as compared to D.C. ?
Candidate : An AC current goes up and down (drawing a sinusoid) and requires more space inside the wire, so the wire has to be thicker.

External (to student) : "Why does a capacitor block DC but allow AC To pass through ?
Student: See, a capacitor is like this ---| |--- , OK. DC comes straight, like this ----------, and the capacitor stops it. But AC,goes UP, DOWN, UP DOWN and jumps right over the capacitor!" ------------------- good one : - )

Interviewer: How will you tell if that wall outlet carries AC or DC?
Candidate: I will put my finger in. If it is pushed away, it is AC. If it gets stuck, it was DC.

Interviewer: H! ow will you reverse direction of an Induction motor?
Candidate: I will remove the four bolts at the x-ud, turn the motor around, and put back the bolts.

Interviewer: How do you start a synchronous motor?
Candidate: Vrrrrrrrmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm (in rising pitch)
Interviewer: Stop! Stop!
Candidate: rrrrrrrmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm (in falling pitch)

Examiner: "What is a step-up transformer?"
Student: "A transformer that is put on top of electric poles."
Examiner (smiling): "And then what is a step-down transformer?"
Student (hesitantly):"Uh - A transformer that is put in the x-udment or in a pit?"
Examiner (pouncing): "Then what do you call a transformer that is installed on the ground?"
(Student knows he is caught-can't answer )
Examiner (impatiently): "Well?"
Student (triumphantly): "A stepless transformer, sir!"


TOP FACTS ABOUT ENGINEERS
Engineers at work:

Assignments solved by one and then carry out mass transfer operations throughout the class

The most important machine for Engineers:

Xerox Machine (Without which assignment Completion couldn't be possible)

Top two Engineering Rumours:

Did you hear the results are being put up today at 5:30pm
Did you hear the exams are postponed by two weeks

'Lil johnny description of Sex

Little Johnny was 12 years old and like other boys his age, rather

curious, he had been hearing quite a bit about "courting" from the older

boys and wondered what it was and how it was done. One day he took his

questions to his mother, who became rather flustered. Instead of

explaining things to Johnny, she told him to hide behind the curtains one

night and watch his older sister and her boyfriend. This he did. The

following morning, Johnny described everything to his mother.



"Sis and her boyfriend sat and talked for a while, then he turned off

most of the lights. Then he started kissing and hugging her. I figured

sis must be getting sick because her face started looking funny. He

must have thought so too, because he put his hand inside her blouse to

feel her heart, just like the doctor would. Except, he's not as smart

as the doctor, because he seemed to have trouble finding her heart.



I guess he was getting sick too, because pretty soon both of them started



panting and getting all out of breath. His other hand must have been

cold, because he put it under her skirt. About this time, sis got

worse, and began to moan and sigh and squirm around and slide down the

end of the couch. This was when the fever started. I knew it was a

fever because sis told him she was really hot. Finally, I found our

what was making them so sick.... a big eel had gotten inside his pants

somehow... it jumped out of his pants and stood there, about ten inches



long. Honest. Anyway he grabbed it in one hand to keep it from

getting away.



When sis saw it, she got really scared... her eyes got big, and her mouth

fell open and she started calling out to God and stuff like that. She

said it was the biggest one she's ever seen; I should tell her about the

one down at the lake!



Anyway, sis got brave and tried to kill the eel by biting it's head off.

All of a sudden, she made a noise and let the eel go. I guess it bit



her back. Sis then grabbed it with both hands and held it tight while

he took a muzzle out of his pocket and slipped it over the eel's head to

keep it from biting again. Sis then layed back and spread her legs so

she could get a scissor lock on its head, he helped by lying on top of

the eel.



The eel put up a hell of a fight. Sis started groaning and squealing

and her boyfriend almost upset the couch. I guess they wanted to kill

the eel by squashing it between them.



After a while, they both quit moving and gave a great sigh. Her

boyfriend got up, and sure enough they had killed the eel. I knew it

was dead, because it just hung there, limp and some of its insides was

hanging out.



Sis and her boyfriend were a little tired form the battle, but they went

back to courting anyway. He started hugging and kissing her again. By

golly, the eel wasn't dead! It jumped straight up and started to fight

again. I guess eels are like cats....they have nine lives or something.



This time, sis jumped up and tried to kill the eel by sitting on it.

After a 36 minute struggle, they finally killed the eel. I knew it was

dead because i saw sis boyfriend peel its skin off and flush it down the

toilet"



By this time, Johnny's mother had passed out cold

Mathematics PJs

what is PJ???

phaltu joke..


what is P+iJ ???

complex phaltu joke...


why dont we laugh on a it???

coz the joke part is imaginary!!!


Whats the opposite of Real??

Its COCONUT....
Y....Socho...???

Becuase it is 'Na-Real'



what is the vector form of sridevi????

ANS : - TABU!!!!
confused???? why????
.
.
ok i'l tell you...
.
.
.
. because.
.
.
.
. sridevi did chandni and tabu did chandni bar!!!!!

Aunty's letter

Dear Sanju baba,
I'm writting this slow because I know you can't read fast. We don't live where we did when
you left home. Your Pa read in the newspaper that most accidents happen within 20
minutes of your home, so we moved. I won't be able to send you the address because the
last family that lived here took the house numbers when they moved so they wouldn't have
to change their address.
This place is really nice. I even has a washing machine. I'm not sure it works so well,
though, Last week I put a load of clothes in and pulled the chain, we haven't seen it since.
The weather isn't bad here. It only rained twice last week; the first time for three days and
the second time for fourdays.
About that coat you wanted me to send; your Uncle said it would be too heavy to send in
the mail with the buttons on, so we cut them off and put them in the pockets.
Bablu locked his keys in the car yesterday. We were really worried because it took him
two hours to get me and your father out.
Your sister had a baby this morning, but I haven't found out what it is yet so I don't know if
you are an aunt or uncle. The baby looks just like your brother.
Uncle Rakesh fell into a swimming pool last week. Some men tried to pull him out but he
fought them off and drowned. We had him cremated; he burned for three days.
Three of your friends went off a bridge in a pickup truck. Bablu was driving. He rolled
down the window and swam to safety. Your other two friends were in the back, they
drowned because they couldn't get the tailgate down. I am now closing this letter and will
share more good news with you again next time.
Your Favorite Aunt,
P.S...If this letter does not reach you, please let me know, I will send u another.

Regards,

Seetha Pillai

WadiaBlues : Messages

Once upon in air india flight, one Indian man and a
English man were traveling, the indian man got his
dinner from home,
he took it out the box, and took out a roti (indian
chapati) then at that moment english man curiously
asked 'what?s
that', the indian replied 'bread of India'
After a while the indian took out a gulabjamun (indian
sweet), at that moment english asked 'whats that' then
indian
replied 'sweet of india', after some time the indian
guy farted with a big sound at that moment the english
man asked
'what?s that', the indian said thats 'AIR INDIA'

Chiman on cycle hit lady accidently, lady says,' break
nahi mar sakta tha kya?
Chiman replies 'break ka kya hai, poori cycle to mar
di.....'

Chiman: Doctor help me, mein jab baat karta huun to
muje sirf awaaz sunai deti hai,
aadmi nahi dikhta.
Dr: Aaisa kab hota hai?
Chiman: Phone karte waqt.

A 4 apple,B 4 bada apple, C 4 chota apple, D 4 dusra
apple, E 4 ekaur apple, F 4 fokat ka apple,G 4 gol
apple,H 4 ho gaya na pet kharab, khake itne sare apple


Ek baar Ek Intelligent Software Engineer ek MNC mein
interview dene jata hai.
Interview mein manager poochta hai ' So.. Mr. Software
Engineer , what do u expect for the salary ?'
Software Engineer :'Jyada nahi saab, bus mahine ka 80
hazaar rupaye, Ek chota sa bunglow, Ek gadi, aur kuch
naukar-chakar'
Manager:'Ok Mr Software Engineer , Hum aapko mahiney
ka ek Lakh pachas hazzar rupye, Ek bada sa bunglow in
Nariman Point, Ek BMW gadi with a Driver, aap ke
baccho ko school ka admission, aur 10 Naukar apki wife
ke liye'
Software Engineer is very excited
Software Engineer :' Majaak kyon kartey ho Sir !'
Manager:'Start kisney kiya tha!!!'

Ek baar ek aadmi bhagwan shiv ki bhakti karta hai.to
kaafi dino baad bhagwan shiv uski bhakti se khush ho
kar ussko wardaan maangne ke liye kehte hain.to wo
aadmi kaafi der sochne ke baad bhagwan shiv se apne
liye gitar maangta hai.par bhagwan shiv kehte hai vo
gitar ki jagah kuch aur maangle.sona,chandi,paisa,kuch
bui.par vo aadmi kaafi sochne ke baad phir gitar
maangta hai.yeh dekh kar bhagawan shiv ko gussa aata
hai aur vo use ek khinch kar chanta(thaparr)maarte
hai.jab vo aadmi bhagwan se poochta hai ki aapne mujhe
kyon maara to bhagwan shiv kehte hain abe idiod agar
mere paas gitar hota to kya main itne saalo se damroo
bajata.

santa: Boss, Sona kahan hai ? (Where is the Gold?)
banta: Kahin par bhi so jao Robert, hum to Mona ke
saath soyenge!

The huge college freshman figured he'd try out for the
football team. 'Can you tackle?' asked the coach.
'Watch this,' said the freshman, who proceeded to run
smack into a telephone pole, shattering it to
splinters.
'Wow,' said the coach. 'I'm impressed. Can you run?'
'Of course I can run,' said the freshman. He was off
like a shot, and, in just over nine seconds, he had
run a hundred yard dash.
'Great!' enthused the coach. 'But can you pass a
football?'
The freshman rolled his eyes, hesitated for a few
seconds. 'Well, sir,' he said, 'if I can swallow it, I
can probably pass it.'

Henry Ford dies and goes to heaven. At the Gates, St.
Peter greets
Ford, and tells him, 'Well, you've been such a good
guy, and your
invention...the assembly line for the
automobile...changed the world.
'
As a reward, you can hang out with anyone in Heaven
you want.' Ford
thinks
about it, and says, - 'I want to hang out with God
Himself.'
So, the befuddled St. Peter takes Ford to the Throne
Room, and
introduces
him to God. Ford then asks God, - 'When you invented
Woman, what were
You thinking?'
God asks, 'What do you mean?'
Well,' says Ford, 'You have some major design flaws in
your
invention:
1. There's too much front end protrusion.
2. It chatters way too much at high speeds.
3. Maintenance is extremely high.
4. It constantly needs repainting, and refinishing.
5. It is out of commission at least 5 or 6 of every 28
days.
6. The rear end wobbles too much.
7. The intake is placed too close to the exhaust.
8. The headlights are usually too small.
9. Fuel consumption is outrageous.
Just to name a few.'
Hmmm...,' replies God, 'Hold on a minute.' God goes
over to the
Celestial
Supercomputer, types in a few keystrokes, and waits
for the results. In
no
time the computer prints out a report, and God reads
it.
God then turns to Ford, and says, 'It may be that my
invention is
flawed, but according to these statistics, more men
are riding my
invention than yours.

One day a man came home from work earlier than usual
and
caught his wife in bed with his best friend. Enraged,
the
husband grabbed a gun and shot his friend to death.
His
wife said, 'Y'know, if you go on like this, you're
going
to lose all your friends.'

The elderly Italian man went to his parish priest and
asked if the priest would hear his confession.
'Of course, my son,' said the priest.
'Well, Father, at the beginning of World War Two, a
beautiful woman knocked on my door and asked me to
hide her from the Germans. I hid her in my attic, and
they never found her.'
'That's a wonderful thing, my son, and nothing that
you need to confess,' said the priest.
'It's worse, Father. I was weak, and told her that she
had to pay for rent of the attic by giving me a little
nookie now and then,' continued the old man.
'Well, it was a very difficult time, and you took a
large risk --you would have suffered terribly at their
hands if the Germans had found you hiding her. I know
that God, in his wisdom and mercy, will balance the
good and the evil, and judge you kindly,' said the
priest.
'Thanks, Father,' said the old man. 'That's a load off
of my mind. Can I ask another question?'
'Of course, my son,' said the priest.
The old man asked, 'Do I have to tell her that the war
is over?'

The judge says, 'Please tell me why you're seeking a
divorce.'
DiNapoli says, 'Because I live in a two-story house.'
The Judge says, 'What kind of a reason is that? What
the matter with a two-story house?'
DiNapoli says, 'I'll tell you what's the matter. One
story is 'I have a headache' and the other story is
'It's that time of the month.''

A farmer's wife was terribly suspicious.
Every evening she subjected her husband to an
inspection.
And if she found even a single hair on his coat, she
created a terrible scene.
One night, she found nothing. 'So,' she screamed: 'Now
it's a bald-headed woman!'

Two guys are riding to work on the bus. They both see
two dogs goin' at it on a lawn.
One guy, who's married, looks at the other and says,
'Wow, I'd give anything to do it to my wife like
that.'
The other, a single guy, says, 'Heck, that's easy.
Just feed her three beers and she'll be ready to do it
in minutes.'
The same two guys are riding the bus to work the next
morning. The single one asks the other: 'Well, did you
get to do it to your wife doggie style?'
The married guy replies, 'Yes, but it took SIX beers.'
The single guy exclaims, 'SIX beers! How come so
many?'
The husband replies, 'Hell, it took three just to get
her out on the lawn.'


Chiman zebra crossing ke black & white patte par bar
bar idhar-udhar chalte the, woh
kya soch rahe honge....think............. 'SALA YE
PIANO BAJTA KYO NAHI'

Chiman on cycle hit lady accidently, lady says,' break
nahi mar sakta tha kya?
Chiman replies 'break ka kya hai, poori cycle to mar
di.....'

Ajit: Raaberrt, Mona ke dono hathon ko kaat do.
Rawbert: Magar kyoon baas?
Ajit: Typing to nahi atee, kamsekam shaarthand to
seekh legi.

A 4 apple,B 4 bada apple, C 4 chota apple, D 4 dusra
apple, E 4 ekaur apple, F 4 fokat ka apple,G 4 gol
apple,H 4 ho gaya
na pet kharab khake itne sare apple

Ek patni ne apne pati ko patra likha.Unhone patra
likhte samay kahin bhi viram chinh nahin lagaya.Patra
likhne ke baad jab unhein es vishay mein dhyan aata
hai to weih jaldi-jaldi andaze se viram chinh (full
stop) laga deti hein.To weh Patra is prakar hai:
Priye Raj,
Sadar Pranam.
Aapne kai dinon se koi patra nahin likha meri saheli
Pooja ko. Naukri se nikal diya hai hamari gai ne.
Bachra diya hai uncle ji ne. Cigarette pini shuru kar
di hai maine.Bahut patra dale pur tum nahin aaye
kabootar ke bache.Billi kha gaye hai ghee.Chutti se
aate samay le aana ek khoobsoorat aurat. Meri saheli
ban gayi hai Manisha Koirala.Is waqt TV pur dance ker
rahi hai hamari murgi.Bech di hai tumhari maa.Tumhein
yaad karti hai padosan.Mujhe tang karti hai hamari
jamin. Sarson ug aai hai chachi ji ke sir pur.Phora ho
gaya hai mere paun mein.Chot lag gaye hai tumhari
chitthi ko.Har waqt tarasti hun Ramesh ke liye.Sandesh
hai ki weih bhi saath mein aaye nahin.To mein naaraz
ho jayoongi bhaiya se.Zarroor milker aana.
Aapki Patni,
Kalpana

Robert : Boss is ne hamare sath gaddari ki hai.
Ajit : Is kutte ke ek hath me HMT aur dusre hath me
TIMEX ki ghadi pahenado.
Robert : Lekin boss isne to hamare sath gaddari ki hai
!!
Ajit : Are bevkuf, Ise pata to lagna chahiye ki aab ye
do ghadi ka mehman hai ?

Robert: Boss, aapko kya kya pasand hain?
Boss: Robert, mujhe sirf teen cheez pasand hain, sona,
mona, aur mona ke saath sona??!!

Bill Gates was in India last year. He announced that
Microsoft plans to release a Windows version in Hindi.
Here are some of the Windows related terms that have
been approved by Bill Gates to be used in the Hindi
version of... Khidkiyan 2000:
( More appropriately Atyant Mulayam Khidkiyan 2000 )
Atyant Mulayam = Microsoft
Khidki = Window
Phaail = File
Bachao = Save
Aise Bachao = Save as
Subko Bachao = Save All
Mujhe Bachao = Help
Madad Pe Madad = Help On Help
Dhoondo = Find
Firse Dhoondo = Find Again
Hilao = Move
Chaara = Options
Bura sandesh yaa phail naam = Bad command or file name
Garbh girao, Firse koshish karo, Naakaamyab = Abort,
retry,fail
chhavo = Tile
Aadmi Bhejo = Send Mail
Daak = Mail
Daakiya = Mailer
Bhaago = Run
Chhaapo = Print
Dekh Ke Chhaapo = Print Preview
Chipkao = Paste
Khaas Chipkao = Paste Special
Mitao = Delete
Kagaz Uper = Page Up
Kagaz Neeche = Page Down
Anth = End
Saaf karo = Clear
Sab Kuch Saaf Karo = Clear All
Makan = Home
Topi Ka Tala = CapsLock
Hathiyaar = Tools
Khuli Chaadar = Spreadsheet
Futaas Ki Goli Kha = Exit
Ped = Tree
Chooha = Mouse
Chooha Chalak = Mouse Driver (Software)
Tik-Tik Karo = Click
Idhar-se-Udhar,Udhar-se-Idhar Wala Danda = Scrollbar
Pardha = Screen
Pardha Bachanewala = Screen Saver
Krimi = Virus
Tika = Anti Virus
Karo = Do
Galthi = Error
Ghusao = Insert
Pahle Ghusao = Insert Before
Beech Mein ghusao = Insert Between
Baadhme Ghusao = Insert After
Chabi Phalak = Key board
Choohha Ka Bisthar = Mouse Pad
Avaaz Phodney Wali Cheez = Sound Blaster
Antarjatiya Jaal = InterNet
Baath Cheeth Dabba = Dialog Box
Chale? = Exit?

ajit : robert isney bahut badi bhool ki hai
robert : to kya saza doon boss isko
ajit : isko liquid oxygen mein daal do
robert : ussey kya hoga boss
ajit : itna bhi nahin samajhta hai, LIQUID ISKO JEENAY
NAHIN DEGA AUR OXYGEN ISKO MARNEY NAHIN DEGI

When Ajit was a young boy in school.
Teacher: Name an animal that lives in Africa?
Ajit: A lion.
Teacher: Very good, name another one?
Ajit: Another lion.

An officer in the British Army from the days of the
Raj returns to India many years after Indian
Independence. He has heard tales about deterioration
of his lovely India. He notices a man taking a piss on
the roadside. He is appalled at the state of anarchy
India has come to. The Gora Sahib is out of the Taxi
in a flash and upon the roadside pisser.
'Kya karta hai... kya karta hai?' demands the Gora
Sahib in broken Hindi.
'Paishab karta hai!' The pisser answers with contempt.
'Kyon karta hai?' demands the Gora who is now red in
the face.
'Aata hai iss leya karta hai!' is the answer.
'Kaise karta hai, Kaise karta hai?' he asks.
'Aaise karta hai!' says the fellow providing a side
view.
'Police nahin pakadta hai?' asks the Gora finally.
'Nahin... Khud pakadna padta hai.......

excercise ur brain

Exercise of the brain is as important as exercise of the muscles. As we grow older, it's important that we keep mentally alert. The saying;

"If you don't use it, you will lose it," also applies to the brain, so..... Below is a very private way to gauge your loss or non-loss of intelligence. Take the following test and determine if you are losing it or are still "with it."
OK, relax, clear your mind and.... begin.
1. What do you put in a toaster?
Answer: "bread." If you said "toast," then give up now and go do something else. Try not to hurt yourself. If you said, "bread," go to Question 2.
2. Say "silk" five times. Now spell "silk." What do cows drink?
Answer: Cows drink water. If you said "milk," please do not attempt the next question. Your brain is obviously over stressed and may even overheat. It may be that you need to content yourself with reading something more appropriate, such as Children's World."
If you said "water," proceed to question 3
3. If a red house is made from red bricks, and a blue house is made from blue bricks, and a pink house is made from pink bricks and a black house is made from black bricks, what is a green house made from?
Answer: Greenhouses are made from glass. If you said, "green bricks," what the devil are you still doing reading these questions?????
If you said "glass," then go on to Question 4.
4. Twenty years ago, a plane was flying at 20,000 feet over Germany. If you recall, Germany at the time was politically divided into West Germany and East Germany.
Anyway, during the flight, TWO of the engines failed. The pilot, realizing that the last remaining engine is also failing, decides on a crash landing procedure. Unfortunately the third engine fails before he has time to attempt an emergency landing, and the plane crashes smack in the middle of "no man's land" between East Germany and West Germany.
Where would you bury the survivors?
. . . in East Germany or West Germany or in "no man's land"?

Answer: You don't, of course, bury survivors. If you said ANYTHING else, you must NEVER try to rescue anyone from a plane crash. Your efforts would not be appreciated!


If you said, "Don't bury the survivors," proceed to the next question.

5. If the hour hand on a clock moves 1/60 of a degree every minute how many degrees will the hour hand move in one hour?
Answer: One degree. If you said, "360 degrees" or anything other than"one degree," you are to be congratulated on getting this far, but you are obviously out of your league. Turn in your pencil, and exit the room.




Everyone else proceed to the final question.



6. Without using a calculator -- You are driving a bus from London to Milford Haven in Wales. In London, 17 people get on the bus. In Reading, six people get off the bus, and nine people get on. In Swindon, two people get off and four get on. In Cardiff, 11 people get off and 16 people get on. In Swansea, three people get off and five people get on. In Carmathen,six people get off and three get on. You then arrive at Milford Haven.



What was the name of the bus driver?





Answer: Oh, for crying out loud! Don't you remember? It was YOU!!