WadiaBlues : Messages

Once upon in air india flight, one Indian man and a
English man were traveling, the indian man got his
dinner from home,
he took it out the box, and took out a roti (indian
chapati) then at that moment english man curiously
asked 'what?s
that', the indian replied 'bread of India'
After a while the indian took out a gulabjamun (indian
sweet), at that moment english asked 'whats that' then
indian
replied 'sweet of india', after some time the indian
guy farted with a big sound at that moment the english
man asked
'what?s that', the indian said thats 'AIR INDIA'

Chiman on cycle hit lady accidently, lady says,' break
nahi mar sakta tha kya?
Chiman replies 'break ka kya hai, poori cycle to mar
di.....'

Chiman: Doctor help me, mein jab baat karta huun to
muje sirf awaaz sunai deti hai,
aadmi nahi dikhta.
Dr: Aaisa kab hota hai?
Chiman: Phone karte waqt.

A 4 apple,B 4 bada apple, C 4 chota apple, D 4 dusra
apple, E 4 ekaur apple, F 4 fokat ka apple,G 4 gol
apple,H 4 ho gaya na pet kharab, khake itne sare apple


Ek baar Ek Intelligent Software Engineer ek MNC mein
interview dene jata hai.
Interview mein manager poochta hai ' So.. Mr. Software
Engineer , what do u expect for the salary ?'
Software Engineer :'Jyada nahi saab, bus mahine ka 80
hazaar rupaye, Ek chota sa bunglow, Ek gadi, aur kuch
naukar-chakar'
Manager:'Ok Mr Software Engineer , Hum aapko mahiney
ka ek Lakh pachas hazzar rupye, Ek bada sa bunglow in
Nariman Point, Ek BMW gadi with a Driver, aap ke
baccho ko school ka admission, aur 10 Naukar apki wife
ke liye'
Software Engineer is very excited
Software Engineer :' Majaak kyon kartey ho Sir !'
Manager:'Start kisney kiya tha!!!'

Ek baar ek aadmi bhagwan shiv ki bhakti karta hai.to
kaafi dino baad bhagwan shiv uski bhakti se khush ho
kar ussko wardaan maangne ke liye kehte hain.to wo
aadmi kaafi der sochne ke baad bhagwan shiv se apne
liye gitar maangta hai.par bhagwan shiv kehte hai vo
gitar ki jagah kuch aur maangle.sona,chandi,paisa,kuch
bui.par vo aadmi kaafi sochne ke baad phir gitar
maangta hai.yeh dekh kar bhagawan shiv ko gussa aata
hai aur vo use ek khinch kar chanta(thaparr)maarte
hai.jab vo aadmi bhagwan se poochta hai ki aapne mujhe
kyon maara to bhagwan shiv kehte hain abe idiod agar
mere paas gitar hota to kya main itne saalo se damroo
bajata.

santa: Boss, Sona kahan hai ? (Where is the Gold?)
banta: Kahin par bhi so jao Robert, hum to Mona ke
saath soyenge!

The huge college freshman figured he'd try out for the
football team. 'Can you tackle?' asked the coach.
'Watch this,' said the freshman, who proceeded to run
smack into a telephone pole, shattering it to
splinters.
'Wow,' said the coach. 'I'm impressed. Can you run?'
'Of course I can run,' said the freshman. He was off
like a shot, and, in just over nine seconds, he had
run a hundred yard dash.
'Great!' enthused the coach. 'But can you pass a
football?'
The freshman rolled his eyes, hesitated for a few
seconds. 'Well, sir,' he said, 'if I can swallow it, I
can probably pass it.'

Henry Ford dies and goes to heaven. At the Gates, St.
Peter greets
Ford, and tells him, 'Well, you've been such a good
guy, and your
invention...the assembly line for the
automobile...changed the world.
'
As a reward, you can hang out with anyone in Heaven
you want.' Ford
thinks
about it, and says, - 'I want to hang out with God
Himself.'
So, the befuddled St. Peter takes Ford to the Throne
Room, and
introduces
him to God. Ford then asks God, - 'When you invented
Woman, what were
You thinking?'
God asks, 'What do you mean?'
Well,' says Ford, 'You have some major design flaws in
your
invention:
1. There's too much front end protrusion.
2. It chatters way too much at high speeds.
3. Maintenance is extremely high.
4. It constantly needs repainting, and refinishing.
5. It is out of commission at least 5 or 6 of every 28
days.
6. The rear end wobbles too much.
7. The intake is placed too close to the exhaust.
8. The headlights are usually too small.
9. Fuel consumption is outrageous.
Just to name a few.'
Hmmm...,' replies God, 'Hold on a minute.' God goes
over to the
Celestial
Supercomputer, types in a few keystrokes, and waits
for the results. In
no
time the computer prints out a report, and God reads
it.
God then turns to Ford, and says, 'It may be that my
invention is
flawed, but according to these statistics, more men
are riding my
invention than yours.

One day a man came home from work earlier than usual
and
caught his wife in bed with his best friend. Enraged,
the
husband grabbed a gun and shot his friend to death.
His
wife said, 'Y'know, if you go on like this, you're
going
to lose all your friends.'

The elderly Italian man went to his parish priest and
asked if the priest would hear his confession.
'Of course, my son,' said the priest.
'Well, Father, at the beginning of World War Two, a
beautiful woman knocked on my door and asked me to
hide her from the Germans. I hid her in my attic, and
they never found her.'
'That's a wonderful thing, my son, and nothing that
you need to confess,' said the priest.
'It's worse, Father. I was weak, and told her that she
had to pay for rent of the attic by giving me a little
nookie now and then,' continued the old man.
'Well, it was a very difficult time, and you took a
large risk --you would have suffered terribly at their
hands if the Germans had found you hiding her. I know
that God, in his wisdom and mercy, will balance the
good and the evil, and judge you kindly,' said the
priest.
'Thanks, Father,' said the old man. 'That's a load off
of my mind. Can I ask another question?'
'Of course, my son,' said the priest.
The old man asked, 'Do I have to tell her that the war
is over?'

The judge says, 'Please tell me why you're seeking a
divorce.'
DiNapoli says, 'Because I live in a two-story house.'
The Judge says, 'What kind of a reason is that? What
the matter with a two-story house?'
DiNapoli says, 'I'll tell you what's the matter. One
story is 'I have a headache' and the other story is
'It's that time of the month.''

A farmer's wife was terribly suspicious.
Every evening she subjected her husband to an
inspection.
And if she found even a single hair on his coat, she
created a terrible scene.
One night, she found nothing. 'So,' she screamed: 'Now
it's a bald-headed woman!'

Two guys are riding to work on the bus. They both see
two dogs goin' at it on a lawn.
One guy, who's married, looks at the other and says,
'Wow, I'd give anything to do it to my wife like
that.'
The other, a single guy, says, 'Heck, that's easy.
Just feed her three beers and she'll be ready to do it
in minutes.'
The same two guys are riding the bus to work the next
morning. The single one asks the other: 'Well, did you
get to do it to your wife doggie style?'
The married guy replies, 'Yes, but it took SIX beers.'
The single guy exclaims, 'SIX beers! How come so
many?'
The husband replies, 'Hell, it took three just to get
her out on the lawn.'


Chiman zebra crossing ke black & white patte par bar
bar idhar-udhar chalte the, woh
kya soch rahe honge....think............. 'SALA YE
PIANO BAJTA KYO NAHI'

Chiman on cycle hit lady accidently, lady says,' break
nahi mar sakta tha kya?
Chiman replies 'break ka kya hai, poori cycle to mar
di.....'

Ajit: Raaberrt, Mona ke dono hathon ko kaat do.
Rawbert: Magar kyoon baas?
Ajit: Typing to nahi atee, kamsekam shaarthand to
seekh legi.

A 4 apple,B 4 bada apple, C 4 chota apple, D 4 dusra
apple, E 4 ekaur apple, F 4 fokat ka apple,G 4 gol
apple,H 4 ho gaya
na pet kharab khake itne sare apple

Ek patni ne apne pati ko patra likha.Unhone patra
likhte samay kahin bhi viram chinh nahin lagaya.Patra
likhne ke baad jab unhein es vishay mein dhyan aata
hai to weih jaldi-jaldi andaze se viram chinh (full
stop) laga deti hein.To weh Patra is prakar hai:
Priye Raj,
Sadar Pranam.
Aapne kai dinon se koi patra nahin likha meri saheli
Pooja ko. Naukri se nikal diya hai hamari gai ne.
Bachra diya hai uncle ji ne. Cigarette pini shuru kar
di hai maine.Bahut patra dale pur tum nahin aaye
kabootar ke bache.Billi kha gaye hai ghee.Chutti se
aate samay le aana ek khoobsoorat aurat. Meri saheli
ban gayi hai Manisha Koirala.Is waqt TV pur dance ker
rahi hai hamari murgi.Bech di hai tumhari maa.Tumhein
yaad karti hai padosan.Mujhe tang karti hai hamari
jamin. Sarson ug aai hai chachi ji ke sir pur.Phora ho
gaya hai mere paun mein.Chot lag gaye hai tumhari
chitthi ko.Har waqt tarasti hun Ramesh ke liye.Sandesh
hai ki weih bhi saath mein aaye nahin.To mein naaraz
ho jayoongi bhaiya se.Zarroor milker aana.
Aapki Patni,
Kalpana

Robert : Boss is ne hamare sath gaddari ki hai.
Ajit : Is kutte ke ek hath me HMT aur dusre hath me
TIMEX ki ghadi pahenado.
Robert : Lekin boss isne to hamare sath gaddari ki hai
!!
Ajit : Are bevkuf, Ise pata to lagna chahiye ki aab ye
do ghadi ka mehman hai ?

Robert: Boss, aapko kya kya pasand hain?
Boss: Robert, mujhe sirf teen cheez pasand hain, sona,
mona, aur mona ke saath sona??!!

Bill Gates was in India last year. He announced that
Microsoft plans to release a Windows version in Hindi.
Here are some of the Windows related terms that have
been approved by Bill Gates to be used in the Hindi
version of... Khidkiyan 2000:
( More appropriately Atyant Mulayam Khidkiyan 2000 )
Atyant Mulayam = Microsoft
Khidki = Window
Phaail = File
Bachao = Save
Aise Bachao = Save as
Subko Bachao = Save All
Mujhe Bachao = Help
Madad Pe Madad = Help On Help
Dhoondo = Find
Firse Dhoondo = Find Again
Hilao = Move
Chaara = Options
Bura sandesh yaa phail naam = Bad command or file name
Garbh girao, Firse koshish karo, Naakaamyab = Abort,
retry,fail
chhavo = Tile
Aadmi Bhejo = Send Mail
Daak = Mail
Daakiya = Mailer
Bhaago = Run
Chhaapo = Print
Dekh Ke Chhaapo = Print Preview
Chipkao = Paste
Khaas Chipkao = Paste Special
Mitao = Delete
Kagaz Uper = Page Up
Kagaz Neeche = Page Down
Anth = End
Saaf karo = Clear
Sab Kuch Saaf Karo = Clear All
Makan = Home
Topi Ka Tala = CapsLock
Hathiyaar = Tools
Khuli Chaadar = Spreadsheet
Futaas Ki Goli Kha = Exit
Ped = Tree
Chooha = Mouse
Chooha Chalak = Mouse Driver (Software)
Tik-Tik Karo = Click
Idhar-se-Udhar,Udhar-se-Idhar Wala Danda = Scrollbar
Pardha = Screen
Pardha Bachanewala = Screen Saver
Krimi = Virus
Tika = Anti Virus
Karo = Do
Galthi = Error
Ghusao = Insert
Pahle Ghusao = Insert Before
Beech Mein ghusao = Insert Between
Baadhme Ghusao = Insert After
Chabi Phalak = Key board
Choohha Ka Bisthar = Mouse Pad
Avaaz Phodney Wali Cheez = Sound Blaster
Antarjatiya Jaal = InterNet
Baath Cheeth Dabba = Dialog Box
Chale? = Exit?

ajit : robert isney bahut badi bhool ki hai
robert : to kya saza doon boss isko
ajit : isko liquid oxygen mein daal do
robert : ussey kya hoga boss
ajit : itna bhi nahin samajhta hai, LIQUID ISKO JEENAY
NAHIN DEGA AUR OXYGEN ISKO MARNEY NAHIN DEGI

When Ajit was a young boy in school.
Teacher: Name an animal that lives in Africa?
Ajit: A lion.
Teacher: Very good, name another one?
Ajit: Another lion.

An officer in the British Army from the days of the
Raj returns to India many years after Indian
Independence. He has heard tales about deterioration
of his lovely India. He notices a man taking a piss on
the roadside. He is appalled at the state of anarchy
India has come to. The Gora Sahib is out of the Taxi
in a flash and upon the roadside pisser.
'Kya karta hai... kya karta hai?' demands the Gora
Sahib in broken Hindi.
'Paishab karta hai!' The pisser answers with contempt.
'Kyon karta hai?' demands the Gora who is now red in
the face.
'Aata hai iss leya karta hai!' is the answer.
'Kaise karta hai, Kaise karta hai?' he asks.
'Aaise karta hai!' says the fellow providing a side
view.
'Police nahin pakadta hai?' asks the Gora finally.
'Nahin... Khud pakadna padta hai.......